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I am getting “married”. Not officially of course. I don’t register the marriage to the state. I just want to keep my gf’s parents happy. Whether it’s truly marriage or not is debatable.
All my posts talk about how bad marriage is and how awesome sugar relationship is.
Basically, I want to give my analysis on the plus and minus of both deals.
In general, sugar relationship between libertarian atheists are best. That’s mainly because in sugar relationship, I decide what the deals are. In marriage, the governments decide what the deals are.
As a libertarian atheist, I have issues with governments or religion telling me what the deals are.
I certainly don’t mind getting married at blockchain, for example.
What I do NOT want is the government regulating my relationship. To me it doesn’t make sense at all. So what if I want to have 5 sugar babies/wives and share that with 2 sugar daddies/husbands.
In my mind, marriage meant a government infested sugar relationship.
If I want to decide your own relationship, then it’s called sugar relationship. That’s why I always said I hate marriage but love sugar relationships.
Actually, there is a way to get married without having to have the government to have any say on how you do it.
In Indonesia, we called this siri marriage. We “married” and then we just don’t register the marriage to the state.
Even though the government doesn’t regulate the marriage and don’t even recognize it, such marriage can be very problematic. To sound legitimate, girlfriend may want some religious marriage.
The Christians are pretty prude and narrow when it comes to marriage. One on one, till one of the party is death, for better or worse, yada yada yada. None of those are even in the bible by the way.
The Muslims are pretty flexible. Polygamy okay, but not polyandry. So, if you like sharing your wives/sugar babies like me, you just have to get the co husbands to marry the girls separately. Notice it’s off the record marriage. No record.
I don’t think this will likely be an issue. Most parents would want their girl to have only one husband when the babies are popping out anyway.
I got bad feeling about most Muslim clerics though. Most Muslim clerics will marry you only if you say some syahadah words, knowing full well you’re not muslim. Sounds simple? In Malaysia, I’ve heard a case of a Billionaire losing all his money. The story is he marries someone informally, said syahadah, and is considered becoming a Muslim. There is a rule that Muslims cannot inherit money to non Muslims or something.
You can read details here https://thenutgraph.com/no-right-to-inheritance/ . Yes. Marriage laws are very complex.
Normally, I would want all my money to go to my bloodlines/kins after I die. Pretty simple right? Marriage can actually prevent that from happening.
If you think the Muslims are crazy you haven’t seen western marriage. There, you can be obligated to pay child support for your wife’s child even if the children is not biologically yours.
I’ve heard a story of Cinderella. Even though her biological dad is rich, Cinderella live in poverty because the money goes to her step sister. I’ve heard a similar case happening to a mensa member. Very stupid.
So yea, I want to avoid religion as much as possible too. To me, marriage is just a big no no. Sugar relationship for the win. If I have a deal with my sugar babies/wife, I want the deal to be explicit. No surprise terms just because some religions or societies think it’s just.
This is kind of ironic. In ancient time, the main purpose of marriage is so you can inherit your money to your kids. Now, marriage, be it by government or by religion can deprive your blood lines of your money. Moreover, you can know which children are yours by paternity tests anyway. This is why marriage just sucks.
On the other hand, there are reasons that marriage may give some slight benefit that could justify it’s costs if the cost is cheap enough. Marriage can make the girls’ parents eat better, for example.
This is quite a thing if your sugar babies already give birth to your biological heir. In my country, having a child outside marriage is, for various idiotic reasons, called shameful or something. If I were the girl’s parents, I would be ashamed if my daughter can’t get someone rich and smart.
“Marriage” also signals to my sugar babies that I am not just paying for sex. I’ll repeat order all the way for life as long as they give me good fuck deals and longer. How much does it cost anyway to take care of a girl in Indonesia? Food? Room? A mere $300 a month is enough. For a girl that have given me heirs, I wouldn’t mind spending far more for life.
Under two cases, not leaving my sugar babies is a no brainer.
I don’t make all this money so I can abandon my biological children and their mom. My money, will eventually go to them.
The other case is, I and my sugar daddy partner now have no smart pretty women left behind policy. Basically, any smart pretty women that offer really great fuck deals, like willing to be sex slave for food, will always be welcomed.
I thought about it all the time. Actually, a lot of things that I want is actually best described as a marriage. I want life long relationships. I want heirs for my business. Most people think, “that’s what marriage essentially is”.
Some of what I want, however, don’t fit the idea of marriage. I am a polyamorist. In most countries, marriage laws do not accommodate that. Notice I am a polyamorist, not a polygamist. So, that sort of thing isn’t even legal in middle east.
I want people to stick together of choice and not commitment. If people commit to each other, they have no incentive to be nice to one another.
I am very open minded of flexibility. Be my wife for 6 months, go study abroad for 3 years, be my sugar baby again for a few years.
So my idea of life long relationship is closer to “repeat orders” and “reducing transaction complexity”.
Once I fuck a sugar baby many times in mutually beneficial transactions, I will get used to her and she will get used to me. We know what we expect when I hire her for the next month. We prefer each other more than others. Also sticking with fewer partners means reducing chance of STD.
Instead of commitment, I think the fear of STD and desire to be with our children should be enough to keep me and my sugar babies to stick around.
I think competition, not a strong commitment to stick to one another is what makes people nice to one another. Imagine if you can only by stuff from one shop or buy only one brand.
However, as time goes by I realize how difficult it is to sell the idea to my sugar babies. Basically, I am saying I want to knock her up outside marriage. It’s something unthinkable to them.
I can explain that the amount of financial support is much bigger if the biological dad is rich than if the biological dad is married. Marry a poor guy you won’t make a lot. Get knocked up by a rich sugar daddy and you’ll do fine. However, that doesn’t sell. Hard to convince girls that I’ll stick around after she gives me kids.
A much better way to do this is then to just get married but keep the government out of it.
It is very easy to do this in my country. We got tons of muslims that get married without officiating their marriage. Some says it’s prostitution. However, they don’t feel that way because they’re technically married. I thought about it for a long time. I think what you feel and what your girlfriend feels is more important than what’s true. So why bother debating whether such marriage is really marriage or prostitution. If they feel it’s marriage and it makes them happy, then why not?
Finally, my bro found a liberal muslim cleric that doesn’t give a fuck about my religion (or lack thereof). The cleric thinks that all people can go to heaven irrelevant of religion. All he asks is our national ID card. I don’t, however, plan to register the marriage to the state. So as the state concerned, we’re not married at all.
However, my gf/sugar baby, can show her parents that she now has a husband. That means a lot to her. I couldn’t understand that at first. But if that’s what makes her happy, why not? Money isn’t an issue. I am a sugar daddy.
Of course, not being legally married, I am still free to have fun. Not like I want STD. But things are open. I am a hedonist. I am very bored with one on one fucking. If she doesn’t want to she doesn’t have to. However, it’s kind of sucks to have a wife that doesn’t want to have fun and have the power to prevent me from having fun. No government recognition means no power.
The marriage also means she is less likely to leave me and my kids will be taken care off just fine.
And 2 parents household is good.
Why not have 5-7 parents household?