I had an ex wife. I still love her. I don’t hate her. I hate marriage. I think she still loves me. That’s not where the issue is. Her stubborn beliefs of religions and marriage separate us.
Before marriage, a girl I really like married another. I worked hard trying to persuade her to divorce her husband and chose me instead. It didn’t work out and I think I lost $2k on a possible scam of either my ex employee or the girl.
Some of the issue is that the husband makes no “mistake” and a wife cannot divorce her husband if there is no mistake. That’s very strange to me. We have laws against prostitution because someone said that prostitution cannot be consensual. Here, a woman want a divorce and she can’t? That seems like forcing someone to me. Also why not being rich enough not a mistake?
Actually, until today, I do not know whether Indonesian laws allow no fault divorces or not. Usually, no-fault divorce laws are encoded by languages like, “irreconcilable incompatibility”.
Lawyers know that it simply means no fault divorce. However, a layman that read the law may think that the court will actually try to find what incompatibility the couple has. Americans can look at wikipedia and see that’s not true. Indonesian laws are more opaque.
In Indonesia it’s up to the judge and when judges have leeways that mean bribing.
To learn how to woe that one girl, I studied evolutionary psychology. Many of the theories surprise me. For example, I was told that women prefer the rich and smart. That’s very surprising. I thought women prefer the handsome because we males want the pretty.
What’s more surprising is that some christian tracts I read when I was in school says that a woman that wants to be happy must avoid picking the rich. How the fuck what religious people say is the exact opposite of what’s natural.
Another interesting point from evolutionary psychology is the real cause of monogamy. The standard politically correct explanation is that monogamy is there to “respect women” or because the bible actually prohibits polygamy and so on and so on. Of course, all those don’t make sense at all to me.
Evolutionary psychology teach an explanation that makes a lot of sense. Monogamy is there to ration females in equal share for everyone. Society is stable if every man gets one. If a man is single, that man is more likely to rob banks or rebel or, in democracy, vote a different party.
Also, prostitution is prohibited not because no woman wants to be a prostitute. Women prefer the rich remember? If I understand correctly, a rich man can get women if he pays less than a poor man. What happens if sex can be traded? Think about it. If women prefer the rich, and a rich man obviously can pay and want many women, how can there be any kids with poor dad? Because prostitution is illegal.
After years of dating my girlfriend, I thought I may all be wrong. I got married anyway. Maybe everyone else is right and I am wrong.
I already knew divorce will be a bitch before I got married. When I was married, I don’t want to make money at all. Why bother? All will go to some lawyers anyway.
Only after a daughter is born I am motivated again to be rich. Things start going well.
She insists I give some fucks about religion and I have had it. She told me that God told her that I should quit my business and go to Australia. I couldn’t reason with her because well, it’s faith. How can you reason with someone whose source of info is “God”.
I thought this is a good time to commit suicide. Games over. I have a crazy wife that believe on things based on faith. Getting rich is useless because I can’t just pick another one.
I filed for divorce. I don’t even want to meet the judge because I don’t want to say anything wrong that makes the divorce fail.
I told my lawyers I want a divorce. If I fail to get a divorce I will spend my whole money to get a divorce. If my money ran out I will commit suicide.
The lawyer did his best to scam me. The wife, believes that “God” will save her marriage keeps on fighting without lawyers.
I was furious. This will make the case very expensive. I hate marriage so much.
After losing so much money, my bro introduces another lawyer telling me I was scammed. I only sue for divorce. Alimony is a separate proceeding. Basically in Indonesia an ex wife can sue alimony AFTER divorce is finalized and there are so many ways to hide the money.
I was told to buy scammy investment to reduce amount of alimony by my ex lawyer.
The wife, due to her faith in her religion kept on fighting. The law is actually in my favor but I don’t know that because I am not a lawyer. She knows that but she has faith in this so called “God”.
After another expensive fight with another lawyer to fight for the house, which is fully owned by my dad, I studied the law my self.
I was disgusted with so many elements of marriage laws. For example, even after I carefully arranged that my dad own the house, she can control the house until the divorce is finalized. In Indonesia, any case can drag on for years. Anyone can appeal all the way to the supreme court. Legally, she can just invite other guys to the house and fuck those guys as long as she is married to me. She won’t do that. She loves me and I love her. But legally she can. And that pisses me off. I hate marriage so much.
My lawyer asks for a lot of money to counter her appeal. However, I learned the law my self. She’s not a lawyer. She doesn’t even put a legal argument in favor of the appeal. The lawyer insisted I pay him anyway to counter such possibility. Other lawyers are like that.
I finally made my own legal decisions. Based on the info, I should do nothing. It works. She lost the appeal.
Her address already changes. The job of the clerk of the court is to send a notification to her. Of course, she will miss it. Which means she can’t prolong the divorce any longer by appealing to the supreme court.
Simple right. Of course, the clerk won’t do it without a bribe. They keep making up excuses. They said the wife’s address has changed and she hasn’t updated it and so they wait till she got a notification.
Let’s try to understand this a little bit. She should notify the court of her change of address. However, she didn’t because she didn’t understand the law. Because of that, she can keep postponing the divorce proceeding.
Because of that she got what she wants. Keep postponing the divorce so she stays married.
I waited, waited waited for years. I asked a lawyer. Till when this corrupt clerk can postpone sending that damn letter. Wanna guess? Not defined. There is no rule in Indonesia that makes court goes fast. The officers can take all the time they want and everybody knows we need to bribe.
At this time I have become an apostate. How can a religion advocate marriage? Can’t this all-knowing God predicts that some of his followers will live in a very corrupt country?
That clerk can postpone sending the letter indefinitely. I won in court but it means nothing because the decision is never finalized waiting for that corrupt clerk to send her decision because of her “fault”
I paid another lawyer to lobby the clerk. We got it done. Finally. Divorce. Freedom at last. I could work, I can get rich again, I am not going to go extinct because if my ex wife is hostile to me I’ll just find another girl.
After things cool off I asked my ex wife to live together as a sugar baby. She says she won’t do it unless we’re married again. How can women be that stubborn? I felt so sorry wasting so much money on lawyers I start sending money to both of them.
I bought an apartment so they can live on the apartment. I will try to live together with them again and if things get along we can be together again. She refused. She wanted the apartment is in my daughters’ name.
That’s impossible because my daughter is under 17. So she asks things that are impossible. I told her we can “rent” the apartment to her at 0 price and that’s legally binding. She, doesn’t know the law, and not wanting to check, says that she is not comfortable. She wants our daughter to own the apartment.
I searched for sugar babies. After lots of scams, I tried many ways, and now managed to knock up 1 smart pretty girl.
Meanwhile, my stubborn ex wife had problems with her parents. I wonder if being with me makes girls crazy.
She finally agreed to move into the apartment. I can see my daughter again. I visit them a lot, I send more money. We play games together. Then I told them I already have a child with another girl.
I told my ex wife that I still love her. She told me that she will not be equated to a whore and she won’t live with me in the big house.